THE CONSERVATIVE HIPSTERS

Kevin Sandy


Alright, so my track record hasn't been stellar over the last few weeks. First, I said the "troika" of Ivana, Kevin and Kelly would be the final three. Ivana got waxed and I was proven wrong (although I did get the other two). Then, I said it would be Whoopie and Sweaty in the finale. Kevin was tossed and I once again had egg on my face. Sandy was gone, which I predicted, but she did (if only for about 2 minutes) outlast Kevin, which was actually a surprise.

So now that's out of the way, let's get down to business. After "gruelling" interviews with top executives--I'm sure they were told to be horrible to the final four--Kevin and Sandy got tossed beofre the half hour was up. Then, the final two, Kelly and (I actually still can't believe it) Jennifer, were told they would be running parallel charity events for a financial company: one a basketball tournament the other a polo match. As expected, each leader was given a team of rejects from the season to "help" (We all remember Omorosa's contribution to Kwame's loss).

So we've seen how things are shaping up, so here are my thoughts:

• Making the "employees" drive behind the Maybac-driven "bosses" was awesome. Nothing like stark hierarchy to foster bitterness and loathing.
• Raj, Elizabeth and John spening their time racing each other on the polo field like a bunch of kids is a strong indication that maybe they aren't quite cut out for the world of high-powered businesses and real estate.
• Jennifer handing off dealing directly with the NBA is a HUGE mistake. George is already on it.
• I won't be hiring Chris as my mover anytime soon. I like his "just stuff/kick/cram the boxes into the elevator" technique.
• Wee Stacey gets kicked in the head again, being picked last for the teams.
• They are clearly setting the audience up for a Kelly win, which makes me wonder if he'll lose.
• If that's true, and Jennifer wins, then the Big D really does have another boss--and it ain't his fiance.
• I want one of them to crash and burn. That would be the best ending, where its just a car accident. That would really show how they handle themselves.
• Kevin shouldn't of been fired. That whole "too much education" thing is crap. He was a solid operator.
• On the other side, Jen getting to the finale shows the ultimate triumph of style (good looks, rehearsed "how to get ahead in business" talking points) or substance (solid perfromance, good management skills).
• Kell-y! Kell-y! Kell-y!

As another bonus, here's an article on the weirdest moments of the season.