THE CONSERVATIVE HIPSTERS
Monday, November 14, 2005
POLITICS AS USUAL: MEET MR. ONTARIO
After reading Sun scribe Lorrie Goldstein's take on what goes on in the mind of a typical voter, I wanted to offer my own guesstimation.
Lorrie seems to think that the typical Ontarian is distracted by bribery (with their own money) and vote FIBeral mainly because they see the Opposition as power-hungry weasels.
I disagree. Let me use the same format to tell you what I think we're facing with the Ontario electorate:
------------------------
Whew. Monday morning. That weekend sure did fly by. Well, at least I got the Christmas lights up. Wouldn't want to be up on that roof after the first snowfall. Oh, man--that reminds me: I better cobble together some extra dough for gifts this year. Janie's got that new man in her life, my sister's kid just turned 6, so I don't think socks will work if we still wanna be the cool uncle and aunt. Boy, this will be an expense Christmas, with travel and everything.
So, what's new in the world? Hmmmm. Leafs lost to Buffalo, Raps lost to Seattle.
What else? Election fever, it seems. Looks like the other Parties are ganging up on Martin for some reason. Man--why don't they just leave it alone? The last thing I need in my life is more people cramming their policies down my throat. Aren't they all the same anyway? Why are they bothering us with all the posturing? I'm just trying to live my life, you know? Guess we'll have to spend the next month and a half listening to the parties try and destroy themselves. What a waste of time.
What's so bad about things anyway? My wife and I both have jobs, thank God. Interest rates are fairly low, and it looks like we might get some tax cuts. Not enough as far as I'm concerned, but at least they're going down. That new car is working out well, except that huge spike in gas a while back sure did put a dent in my wallet. Those Saudis must be making a killing!
I even had some money left over to pay for some of that vacation next year. Guess the rest of it will have to go on the ol' credit card. Anyway, so why do they want that election again? That Harper guy's on about Gomery. Oh, there's a big shock--the government squandered my money again. I remember my parents bitching about taxes when I was a kid. Tax me, I'm Canadian! Heh heh heh. Sounds like business as usual these days. They're all incompetent.
Not like the next government would change anything, anyway.
Hmmmmm. I wonder what Harper would be like as PM? Seems decent enough, but looks like a real nerd. I'll bet he played Dungeons and Dragons in his basement in High School! Heh heh. But you know, I don't even know what the hell he stands for. Guess I need to read the politics section a little more often. Well, Martin hasn't made me do backflips, that's for sure. But I read somewhere that Harper's a George Bush-type.
Not sure I like that.
Oh man, an election. This sucks. Hey, its Monday. Prison Break tonight!
Lorrie seems to think that the typical Ontarian is distracted by bribery (with their own money) and vote FIBeral mainly because they see the Opposition as power-hungry weasels.
I disagree. Let me use the same format to tell you what I think we're facing with the Ontario electorate:
------------------------
Whew. Monday morning. That weekend sure did fly by. Well, at least I got the Christmas lights up. Wouldn't want to be up on that roof after the first snowfall. Oh, man--that reminds me: I better cobble together some extra dough for gifts this year. Janie's got that new man in her life, my sister's kid just turned 6, so I don't think socks will work if we still wanna be the cool uncle and aunt. Boy, this will be an expense Christmas, with travel and everything.
So, what's new in the world? Hmmmm. Leafs lost to Buffalo, Raps lost to Seattle.
What else? Election fever, it seems. Looks like the other Parties are ganging up on Martin for some reason. Man--why don't they just leave it alone? The last thing I need in my life is more people cramming their policies down my throat. Aren't they all the same anyway? Why are they bothering us with all the posturing? I'm just trying to live my life, you know? Guess we'll have to spend the next month and a half listening to the parties try and destroy themselves. What a waste of time.
What's so bad about things anyway? My wife and I both have jobs, thank God. Interest rates are fairly low, and it looks like we might get some tax cuts. Not enough as far as I'm concerned, but at least they're going down. That new car is working out well, except that huge spike in gas a while back sure did put a dent in my wallet. Those Saudis must be making a killing!
I even had some money left over to pay for some of that vacation next year. Guess the rest of it will have to go on the ol' credit card. Anyway, so why do they want that election again? That Harper guy's on about Gomery. Oh, there's a big shock--the government squandered my money again. I remember my parents bitching about taxes when I was a kid. Tax me, I'm Canadian! Heh heh heh. Sounds like business as usual these days. They're all incompetent.
Not like the next government would change anything, anyway.
Hmmmmm. I wonder what Harper would be like as PM? Seems decent enough, but looks like a real nerd. I'll bet he played Dungeons and Dragons in his basement in High School! Heh heh. But you know, I don't even know what the hell he stands for. Guess I need to read the politics section a little more often. Well, Martin hasn't made me do backflips, that's for sure. But I read somewhere that Harper's a George Bush-type.
Not sure I like that.
Oh man, an election. This sucks. Hey, its Monday. Prison Break tonight!
# posted by Anonymous : 9:46 a.m.
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